Banning trans people from public spaces will not solve but worsen our fear
On this transgender day of visibility. Senator Baxley — the infamous “Don’t Say Gay” bill’s sponsor — was asked this past month on the Florida senate floor why his law focused specifically on sexual orientation and gender identity and not other “unsuitable” topics for Florida classrooms such as drug, suicide, or wars. In his rather confused response (watch it here), he said:
“My son’s a psychiatrist and I said, ‘Why is everybody now all about coming out when you’re in school?’ And there really is a dynamic of concern of how much of these are genuine […] experiences and how many of them are just kids trying on different kinds of things they hear about.”
“So my question is, simply, are we encouraging this or eliminating it by putting emphasis on it?
I was watching the debate that day. My first reaction was relief at having Baxley admit publicly that the bill was motivated by his fear of transgender kids rather than issues with Florida curriculums. After two days of rhetorical gymnastic by three Republican men on the floor to justify the bill, it felt cathartic to have transphobia be clearly expressed. Fear is more natural than hate. I then thought that his understanding of the transgender experience would surely be different if, instead of reaching out to his sons (a geriatric psychiatrist by the way) he had spoken to a transgender child before proposing a legislation irrevocably affecting them. I have never heard anybody explain their desire to transition by a desire to become an overnight “celebrity” as Baxley later suggested.
Baxley is a 74-year-old funeral director from Ocala, Florida . He self describes as a “father of 5 and a grandfather of 8” on his twitter profile. You can safely assume that Baxley does not wish to have his grandson become a granddaughter or the contrary. And that maybe it worries him. Maybe to the point that he wishes even the possibility of that happening to go away. I am a father and, if one of my two sons was battling with such inner turmoil, I would too be distressed. Being gay is not an insurance against transphobia. Yet, I am certain that if my child was expressing suffering related to his gender, the knowledge I have accrued by spending time with trans people would drive my response.
We cannot legislate or react based on fears. Instead, we must acclimate ourselves with the object of our fear. Gaining some knowledge on trans identities should in fact be mandatory for the politicians sponsoring hundreds of anti-trans bills in US legislatures this year. Bills that are obviously designed to ban trans people from public spaces to alleviate the majority’s fears.
In a 1962 speech, MLK said “… I am convinced that men hate each other because they fear each other. They fear each other because they don’t know each other, and they don’t know each other because they don’t communicate with each other, and they don’t communicate with each other because they are separated from each other.”
The flurry of anti-trans bills in the US are aimed at keeping trans people separate, ostracized and marginalized. Bills banning them from youth sports, bills banning them from curriculum, bills banning them from bathrooms are designed to push trans individuals out of the picture. In more autocratic countries, trans content are increasingly banned in the medias frustrating any chance for change. But even at the community level, unwelcoming workplaces, the cisgender’s gaze and economic marginalization contribute to that separation.
Hate and fear are powerful political tools and ensuring that trans kids do not communicate their experience with others is a way that perpetuate politically profitable fears. And yet a simple conversation with trans people is always irrevocably mind changing.
They will almost systematically mention a crossroad in which they either transition or wish to end their life. The second most powerful experience when spending time with trans individuals is the banality and commonality of their human experience. Desires and plans that strangely mirror ours.
When a child wants to end their life, we as a community are FAILING them. The sheer notion that children, because of lack of information, carry with them this suffering without mentioning to their parents, teachers, or priests is revolting.
The GenderCool Project, which has extraordinary teens leading the conversation around who trans people are, is the type of initiatives that is transformational as it highlights that trans people, when given the opportunity, can live happy fulfilling lives. GLAAD’s relentless work on trans representation in the media is also crucial.
Finally, workplace inclusion and economic empowerment are key too. In fact, we credit a lot of the radical societal changes on gay issues to people coming out in the workplace in the past fifty years. That is why at Out Leadership, we work with our member companies so they play their role in creating environments where trans people and families of trans kids can flourish.
It is the only way we will ever graduate from fear to focusing instead on the commonality of our human endeavor.